Lap of Luxury

65hrs ish. Blender, Zbrush, Photoshop.

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Me: GET OUT OF MY WORK IN PROGRESS FOLDER! *Boot.*

Jessarah: NO! *Cling.*

Me: Don't make me MAKE you. >8{

Jessarah: I like it in here! It's nice and cozy and there are lots of others to play with. At the rate you're going, I'll never run out of friends in here. Heeee.

Me: Spoiled little Fuck. SATAN!!! COME FORTH!

Satan: *Arises in a cloud of black ash, sulfur, and methane, membranous wings spreading ominously, eyes glowing red.*

Jessarah: EEEEEEE! *Runs away.*

Me: Thank fuck.

Satan: THANK FUCK!? Thank ME! I never get any damn credit for anything. Jesus Christ.

Jesus Christ: *Appears in a cloud of pot fumes.* Yeah. Hi. I really wish people would stop saying my name for no reason, God damn it.

God: *Booming thunder.* MOTHER. FUCKERS.

Everyone: *Shuts up.*

Satan: So anyway, where'd that girl go? She was hot. I want to bang dat ass like a bongo drum.

Me: Um..... That was actually a guy.

Satan: So where'd that guy go? He was hot. I want to bang dat ass like a bongo drum.

Me: *Facepalm* Is that all you think about, really? Can't you maybe try..... I dunno, taking matters into your own hands for once? Or maybe try some toys? Don't you have a vibrator or something?

Satan: My vibrator sucks.

Me: Oh wow! That's awesome! Mine only vibrates.

Satan: I mean it blows.

Me: Damn! I need to get me one of those!

Satan: I mean it really bites!

Me: Well I'm sure it has an intensity dial. Just turn it down to "lightly nibbles."

Satan: *Angry glare* >8{ Bitch, I will stab you.

Me: Is that a euphemism for....?

Satan: NO.

Me: Alright, alright. Calm down.

Jesus: Hey, ya know, I'm available and always open to new things. *Writhes sexily.*

Satan: NNNNOOO. NO. ALL THE NO. TWENTY-FIVE DIFFERENT KINDS OF NO. NOPE NOPE NOPE. NOPING OFF INTO WILD BLUE YONDER AND NEVER COMING BACK. NOPE-NOPE-AND AWAY! *Nopes off into the distance.*

Me: Well. So that happened. Haven't you guys been trying to figure out how to get rid of him for like.... ages?

Jesus: Yeah. If only we had known it would be THAT easy. Note to self: Cancel the apocalypse.

God: Well damn. That simplifies things.

Satan: *Can still be heard noping somewhere over the horizon.*