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About Digital Art / Professional Core Member Bobbie Jean PentecostFemale/United States Groups :iconnew-sculptors-guild: New-Sculptors-Guild
Sculpting has no exclusiv medium
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Deviant for 9 Years
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Given by alinsavix
Statistics 344 Deviations 9,784 Comments 720,696 Pageviews

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BJPentecost
Bobbie Jean Pentecost
Artist | Professional | Digital Art
United States
Everything you need to know about me can be found here: fav.me/d4b6hqb

COMMISSIONS: I am currently closed. I will make an announcement when I reopen.

Please check out my Shapeways shop: www.shapeways.com/shops/bobbie… All proceeds go towards student loans, supporting my elderly parents, and paying medical debt.
Interests
I decided to try something, well.... the title says it all. This is still rough, only a first draft, and very much under construction but I think even in this state, it's a lot better than my last attempt: bjpentecost.deviantart.com/art…

I hope you like it. ;) Muahahaha.

Edit: It's definitely not for everyone. Fair warning, if you don't like the ridiculous style I write my journals in, you almost certainly will not like this. You probably won't like it if you're an easily butthurt conservative either.

Activity


I decided to try something, well.... the title says it all. This is still rough, only a first draft, and very much under construction but I think even in this state, it's a lot better than my last attempt: bjpentecost.deviantart.com/art…

I hope you like it. ;) Muahahaha.

Edit: It's definitely not for everyone. Fair warning, if you don't like the ridiculous style I write my journals in, you almost certainly will not like this. You probably won't like it if you're an easily butthurt conservative either.
Plot Outline Conventions
Plot Outline Conventions
This is for my own convenience but anyone who wants to use it may feel free. Most of this has been gleaned from studying general knowledge on writing and outlining from a variety of sources readily available online. If you have anything you'd like to add or critique, feel free.

Plot Outline Conventions

 

Seven Sentence Story Format

1.) Exposition: This is where characters and settings are introduced- the starting point. Should begin with a compelling hook.

2.) Inciting incident: This is where the protagonist's world changes. The events of the story are set in motion. The antagonist may be introduced here.

3.) Conflict: The conflict deepens. If the antagonist was not introduced previously, he/she/it/they should be introduced here. The reader is now becoming aware of what the stakes are.

4.) Escalation: Prior events are rapidly accelerating towards a climax. Protagonist should be proactive by this point, that is to say acting, not just reacting.

5.) Climax: The point of no return. The moment of truth. The apex. Everything prior leads to this point.

6.) Resolution: The events in the climax begin to wind down and resolve themselves.

7.) Denouement: Loose ends are tied up. The main conflict is resolved.


~~~~~~


Nine Sentence Story Format

1.) Hook: This is thing that gets butts in the seats and keeps people wanting to turn the pages. It should, ideally, be the first sentence or at least contained within the first few paragraphs.

2.) Exposition: This is where characters and settings are introduced- the starting point.

3.) Plot turn 1: This is where the protagonist's world changes. The events of the story are set in motion. The antagonist may be introduced here.

4.) Pinch point 1: The conflict deepens. If the antagonist was not introduced previously, he/she/it/they should be introduced here. The reader is now becoming aware of what the stakes are.

5.) Midpoint: Prior events are rapidly accelerating towards a climax. Protagonist should be proactive by this point, that is to say acting, not just reacting.

6.) Pinch point 2: The conflict is at its highest point.  

7.) Plot turn 2: The protagonist sets out to accomplish goals set during the midpoint.

8.) Resolution: This is the climax of the story where the conflict, antagonist, and protagonist converge to do battle.

9.) Denouement: Loose ends are tied up and the main conflict is resolved.


~~~~~~

3 Acts Format

    Act 1:

            Act 1 Beginning ………………….………………………………….

1.) Exposition:  

2.) Inciting incident:

3.) Consequences/change:

            Act 1 Middle …………………………………….…………………..

4.) Lull:

5.) Escalating conflict and reaction:

6.) Consequences:      

            Act 1 End …………………………………….………………………

7.) Uneasy lull:    

8.) Conflict escalates further:   

9.) Reactions and consequences:

 

    Act 2:

            Act 2 Beginning ………………………………….………………….….

10.) Lull:

11.) Complacency:

12.) Conflict resurgence:

            Act 2 Middle ……………………………….………………….………..

13.) Hard fall:

14.) Reaction and consequences:

15.) Recuperation:

            Act 2 End ……………………………….………………….……………

16.) Proactivity:

17.) Conflict rears up:

18.) Determination to defeat conflict:

 

    Act 3:

            Act 3 Beginning ………………………….………………….………………

19.) Confrontation:

20.) Hard failure:

21.) Lull:

            Act 3 Middle ……………………………….………………….…….….…..

22.) Resurgence of determination: 

23.) Climax:

24.) Result:

            Act 3 End……………………………….………………….……………….

25.) Conflict recedes:

26.) Resolution:

27.) Denouement:


~~~~~~

3 Act -simple:

Beginning

    Exposition:

    Inciting incident:

    Escalating conflict:

Middle

    Lull:

    Rise and fall:

    Climax:

End

    Conflict recedes:

    Resolution:

    Denouement:

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When my eyes start going wonky and I can't see well enough to paint, I like to indulge this ludicrous notion that I can write. I use a dark gray background with slightly less dark gray text magnified somewhere between 230% and 290%. This doesn't strain my eyes too much so long as I take frequent breaks and keep some ice cubes or cold water handy. I would rather not spend all day lying in bed like a speed bump while so much potentially useful time goes zipping past at the speed of life. I'm already 33yo. This shitshow is probably about half over and I don't want to waste the time I have left.

I love writing but the truth is, I'm not great at it. I think I could maybe, perhaps, perchance, possibly, probably have been good at it if I'd put my 10K hours into that instead of art. But I didn't and here we are. However, with my eyes wonking out on me every other day, I feel I have an opportunity to put some hours towards not sucking at writing.

During this latest attack, I decided to pick up an old writing project I started some time ago. It was AWFUL! I was so embarrassed about how bad it was that I cringed myself into a singularity at one point. *shudders* It was prolix, meandering, and crammed full of prose so purple I couldn't read it without a blacklight. I'm pretty sure I briefly strayed into x-ray territory with a literal ENTIRE PAGE worth of description. I wonder if any other writers out there have ever been irradiated by their own purple prose. I mean, I could weaponize this shit and sell it to the military for fuck's sake. If we're ever visited by hostile aliens, just sit me in front of a laptop and I'll write at them. Hopefully, the resultant gamma ray burst doesn't incinerate the entire hemisphere.

I'M EVEN DOING IT RIGHT NOW! Probably 95% of the people who see this are going to "TL;DR" and fuck off because they don't want to get irradiated by my bullshit. I have this tendency to want to paint with words in the same way I paint with, well, paint and by that I mean ALL OF THE DETAILS. ALL OF THEM. EVERY SINGLE ONE. DDDEEETTTAAAIIILLLLLSSS. Details. By my reckoning, writing and painting have a surprising number of things in common but they also have a few differences that are vastly, enormously, giganto-fuckingly huge, among which is the way viewers absorb detail. In paintings, detail can be imbibed quickly and easily with minimal effort. In reading, the viewer has to FUCK. I'm doing it again! AAAHHHH.

Anyway, to the damn point (Jesus Christ, Bobbie Jean). I decided to try and fix my old project. I was enthusiastic at first but the longer I worked on it, the more I began to fear it was irreparable. Frustrated, I decided to start a new story. It was great! It hooks you immediately. Gets you asking questions. Makes you want to know what happens next. I didn't frontload all my description. Prose was descriptive yet minimalist. And I hit a wall because I couldn't stop thinking about my other project. I can't quite bring myself to let it go.

And I'm doing it AGAIN. Jesus. Alright, let me get to the damn cheese here before the remaining 5% of you decide to fuck off too, assuming you haven't already been purple prosed into nonexistence.

The only way I'm going to improve is if I receive input and critique from varying sources. Most of my friends and family think everything I do is goldplated perfection manifest. I can show them literal garbage and they will be like "oh my god you're so amazing and perfect! You're a goddess of creation!" That's great for the ego but it doesn't really help me improve. Everyone else I know either doesn't read, isn't interested in the kinds of things I write, or has no useful input beyond shit like "it's okay" or "not bad."

So, without further irradiation ado, here is that old story I tried to fix: Word docs: Temporary post

For those capable of wading through not very good writing and ultraviolet prose that may occasionally stray into x-ray territory, I'd appreciate some feedback. If you don't have the time or the inclination, I won't hold that against you. If you do somehow manage to get through some of it or, gods have mercy on your soul, all of it, I'd appreciate a little feedback. I suggest reading it on a tablet if you can. It's about 8K words.

Concerns I have:

-Premise is odd
-Main character is odd
-Hook isn't compelling enough
-Drags about the middle
-Ending isn't compelling enough
-Purple prose and overlong descriptions
-Not enough action
-Trying to un-frontload description may have created some confusing bits
-Sentences are occasionally a bit overlong

Things I am not concerned about:

-Anything that can be easily fixed by an editor (grammar, syntax, etc)
-Having my feelings hurt. I can take blunt honesty and in fact, I prefer that, but there's no call to be an arse either. A polite but honest approach is preferred.

Questions:

What is your overall impression? Good? Bad? Has potential? Light it on fire and never speak of it again?

What, if anything, did I do well?

What can I improve on?

Any other thoughts?
For those out of the loop.

Whatever this is, it's hitting me hard, fast, and it's unremitting. I've been effectively and continuously debilitated for a straight week now and intermittently throughout the past two months. I have to look at my computer screen with sunglasses on even to type this and I'm having a lot of difficulty putting coherent thoughts together. I certainly can't paint. I've tried several times and usually brings on a grab bag of lovely consequences like blinding migraines, inflammation around my eyes so severe I can't see, and horrendous neck pain way beyond anything that's normal.

My health insurance doesn't kick in until Feb 1 so until then, there's nothing for me to do but sit here and wait and try to get some work done between flareups. Even when it does kick in and I can get in to see a doctor, there's no guarantee they'll be able to help as they've proven entirely useless to this point.

***If this goes away, I will resume commissions so if you were in my queue and want to stay there, that's fine. I'll keep you apprised.

I'm not feeling very hopeful at the moment. I straight up stopped breathing in my sleep last night and woke up gasping for air. 
TL;DR backstory: For the past seven or eight years, I have been suffering episodes during which I experience a marked, precipitous decline in visual acuity accompanied by neck pain, inflammation and pain in the eyes, increased intraocular pressure, pain on eye movement, and fatigue. When the episode ends, my eyesight stabilizes but is a little worse than before.  

I haven't given an update on my eyesight in a while as I thought I had it under control. Thanks to the Olympic medal winningly useless doctors around here, I was left with no choice but to self-diagnose off Google. Yeah, I know, but what else was I supposed to? I have been to many, many doctors about this over the last few years and all I get is a fucklot of "I unno." You'd think one of these morons would have thought "that sounds like migraine symptoms!" but no such luck. I always thought migraines were just glorified headaches and they had never been a problem before so I would never have thought migraine was the culprit. The next time I had one of these episodes, I took Excedrin Migraine which cleared it right up. I stopped noticing declines in my eyesight immediately. Problem seemed to be solved.

Eventually, however, the migraines stopped responding predictably and consistently to Excedrin migraine. So I'd take Advil instead which also seemed to work, though, sometimes, the migraines wouldn't respond to that either. Sometimes the pain responds to either or neither. I never really know. It's a guessing game which I'm sure my liver and kidneys just love. So when this started happening, I decided it might behoove me to see a doctor despite their previous track record of award-winning excellence in uselessness. Figured I'd try a new one. Fresh start. Maybe I'll get lucky. She has a great reputation. People really like her. NOPE! More of the same. "I unno." She ran some routine blood tests and they all came back normal which ended in more "I unno" followed by "don't let the door hit you on the way out k thanx bye." No "hm, that's strange. I'll run some more tests" or "I'll refer you to a neurologist." Nope. Just "bye." That's all I get. "I unno" and "bye."

It has become abundantly clear to me that I'm dealing with something far worse than migraines which I'm pretty sure are not supposed to last a month or more. They have also started co-presenting with the following lovely new symptoms: generalized pain that moves around, increased sensitivity to pain, arthritis-like stiffness, increased intracranial pressure, feeling feverish without fever, cognitive impairment, heart palpitations, difficulty concentrating, excessive thirst, unrestful sleep and sleep disturbances, anxiety attacks, depression, severe vision disturbances, dyspnea (difficulty breathing) with no past history of breathing problems, numbness and tingling in the fingers and toes, weakness in the extremities, pain on tactile stimulation, decreased sensitivity in hands and feet after tingling/numbness recedes, edema, and a few other symptoms I don't need to TMI you with.

I am very probably looking at fibromyalgia, however, that doesn't explain my eye problem because fibro isn't degenerative and doesn't come with inflammation which means on top of fibro, I'm probably also looking at MS, Sjögren's syndrome, or something else that is degenerative. I don't know because to this point, literally every single doctor I have seen about this, probably upwards of fifteen individuals by now, has been totally and completely useless.

I don't have T2 Diabetes. We know at least that much. My HGA1C was 4.something at last check and my fasting blood sugar is always around 80-something. I am at seriously high risk for T2D thanks to genetic predisposition and PCOS (50% of women with PCOS will become diabetic) but I'm not there yet thanks to a regular regimen of exercise and a mostly healthy diet (not going to pretend I don't occasionally snag a bag of peanut MnMs). Still, no matter how you slice it, the prognosis isn't good, especially considering that I can't get any of these morons down here to pull their heads out of their assholes long enough to help me.

I am going to reach out one last time. That is it. Once. To a neurologist. And if I get one more fucking "unno" I give up. I can't keep throwing money at this. Even with insurance, my medical bills are starting to get ridiculous. If I sound angry, it is because I am very angry and extremely frustrated. Of the 25+ doctors I have seen throughout the course of my life, 3 have helped me in an objectively beneficial way. The rest have harmed me, attempted to harm me, dismissed me outright, or attempted to kill me. Don't mistake me. This isn't some kind of weird paranoia. I'm sure at least some of these doctors honestly thought they were doing the right thing. Some were undoubtedly pill-pushing but most of them likely thought they were helping. Fact is, they weren't. I almost died twice as a direct result of brazen, inexcusable ignorance on the part of doctors and a huge chunk of my life was ruined or at least ruined in part thanks to pill-pushers, ignorants, and apathetic assholes.

I'm not saying all doctors are bad. They saved my mother's life for which I am unendingly grateful. Maybe I've just had really rotten luck and happened to stumble on every one of the worst doctors from NY to FL. I suppose that's possible. Either way, I'm in deep shit and frankly, I don't know that I can survive going blind.  

So that's that. You've been apprised.

Comments


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:iconanotalenthack:
anotalenthack Featured By Owner 6 days ago
Happy (belated) Valentine's day!
Reply
:iconbjpentecost:
BJPentecost Featured By Owner 4 days ago  Professional Digital Artist
Aw. Thanks. ;) How was yours? Good, I hope?
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:iconyo-dra:
Yo-dra Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2017  Student Digital Artist
I just wanted to say I love your work! It's beautiful and inspiring. 
Reply
:iconbjpentecost:
BJPentecost Featured By Owner 4 days ago  Professional Digital Artist
Thanks. :) Kind of you to say. 
Reply
:iconwyzzel:
Wyzzel Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2017  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I´m so in love with your style and characters! You are so amazing and I can't wait to see more from you!!! La la la la 
Reply
:iconbjpentecost:
BJPentecost Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2017  Professional Digital Artist
Thanks very much. :) I'm glad you like.
Reply
:iconwyzzel:
Wyzzel Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2017  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Huggle! 
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:iconlolinilandecadon:
Lolinilandecadon Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Happy birthday :party:
And best hopes for your condition!
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:iconcosmocoyote:
CosmoCoyote Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2016  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Happy Birthday!Have your cake and eat it too :D (Big Grin) 
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:icongrandmasterfdc:
GrandMasterFDC Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2016  Professional Digital Artist
Happy Birthday! I'm on fire!
Reply
:iconc4rl0sd4n13l:
C4rl0sD4n13l Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2016
I know that this is a bit late but here it comes. Also, I am a bit short of personalized phrases for each birthdays, so I hope that this will be good for you.....:

Singing Singing Today's gonna be a-okSinging Singing 
SingingSinging 
Singing Singing 'Cause we're celebratin' your birthdaySinging Singing 
Singing Singing 
Singing Singing Happy birthday, BoobieSinging Singing 
Singing Singing 
Singing Singing Celebratin' your birthday!Headbang! Headbang! Headbang! Headbang!
Airborne Airborne Airborne Airborne Airborne Airborne Airborne Airborne Airborne 

I wish you a Happy Birthday and that all your wishes of Birthday are accomplished. 

And remember, keep being cool and classy.
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:iconskunkman001:
Skunkman001 Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2016  Professional Photographer
Happy Birthday! :cake:
Reply
:iconethanredotter:
EthanRedOtter Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2016  Student Writer
Super Fantastic Golden Platter Cake 3D Happy birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!Super Fantastic Golden Platter Cake 3D 
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:iconkyrst:
kyrst Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2016  Student
Happy birthday!! c: 
Reply
:iconkrelianalpha:
Krelianalpha Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2016
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!:party::cake::party:
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:iconkur-lev:
Kur-Lev Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2016  New Deviant Hobbyist General Artist
Happy Birthday! Birthday cake  icon 
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:iconfrankt:
FrankT Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Happy Birthday! Hope you have an amazing day :)
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:iconanotalenthack:
anotalenthack Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2016
Happy Birthday!
Reply
:icondestiny3000:
Destiny3000 Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Hope you have a great day!
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:iconmrparaduo:
MrParaduo Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
Happy birthday! :clap:
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:iconstormlover10:
Stormlover10 Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2016
Happy Birthday! Pinkie Pie #2  I hope it's a great one and I wish you the best! Hug
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:iconvexfox:
VexFox Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2016  Professional Photographer
Happy birthday! :la:
Reply
:icontimmainsson:
timmainsson Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2016
Happy Birthday  
We are all better for your presents !
Reply
:icondykroon-chan:
dykroon-chan Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2016
happy birthday =)
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